May 11, 2008

I don't have a picture of myself on May 11th, 2008. I can't tell you what I did. But I can tell you I was sad. Heartbreakingly, hopelessly sad. The kind of sad that comes with cycles of unsuccessful infertility treatments. Many days were hard that year, but May 11th, Mother's Day, was definitely one of the hardest. I felt alone and frustrated and confused. I had a lot of questions about what the future would hold. I just wanted to be a Mom.

One year later I was 34 weeks pregnant on Mother's Day. A fertility treatment success story, just one month from meeting our first little dude. It didn't feel real then. I was blessed, but not ready to celebrate. I was thinking of, and praying for, the women who were still waiting for their babies to find them.

Sunday, May 9th, 2010 was my first real Mother's Day. And on that day we began a tradition of taking pictures after dinner.

with A.J. 2 days shy of 11 months old

May 2010

with A.J. almost 2 years old

May 2011

with AJ almost 3, and on bedrest to keep Sammy baking at 35 weeks

May 2012

And yesterday, just as sleep deprived as that first Mother's Day photo but this time doubly blessed

with AJ, almost 4, and Sammy, almost 1

Becoming a mother wasn't easy for me, and being a mother isn't easy either. 

But it's worth it.