Dear Pierce Brosnan,
Because you are still hot, I will forgive you for your horrible singing in Mamma Mia. I mean really, it was so painful I actually hid my face to keep from looking at you. I know they cast you in the film because you're nice to look at, so me hiding my eyes was clearly not the producers intention. When you're considering your next film roll, please take my words to heart. I will gladly watch you be mysterious, or brooding. Heck, I'll even go for some humor. But please, for the love of Raisinettes and movie theatre popcorn, NEVER SING AGAIN.
Dear Hu Hot,
Thank you for existing. Mongolian barbeque just may get me through my chinese food cravings while I'm on a diet. Now, if only you could find a way to make that s'mores dessert diet friendly. I was doing so well until I saw the little flaming plate headed to the booth next to us.
I love you. I really do. Right now you are the closest thing I have to a child. But if you don't stop your antics I am going to sell you to the gypsies. Thanks to you, my day began with stepping in something too gross to mention, thereby destroying my favorite summer shoes. Not going to get on my good side that way my friend. And now you're barking slash howling out the window at random passersby. You are the reason our neighbors look at as funny. If you could stop making noises like you're being killed that would be great.
Dear Lee Ann,
You've been to the cheese shop and posed for a picture wearing a cheesehead hat. I think this means you are ready to move to Wisconsin. Thanks for coming to visit. I love you.