I will start by saying in theory, yoga is contrary to just about everything I am.
Yoga promotes peace and stress relief. Dude, I worked in television news for more than 5 years. You will find no peace there. Now I follow brides around all day trying not to loose my mind when I'm herding cats for formal portraits. It's even better when the cats are drunk. Stress relief? What's that?
The idea of me, totally unflexible stressed out ME, taking a yoga class...well, let me know when you're done laughing. But last night, I did it. I walked into the Y with my mat over my shoulder and took my first yoga class. You can blame Barb. Or rather, blame the sleep deprivation that inspired me to say this would be a good idea when she brought it up.
What can I say about the yoga experience? Well, I had a couple of major fears going into it. First, the laughing. I laugh when I'm uncomfortable. Which reminds me of the time I started cracking up when one of my best friends in high school puked in the parking lot. I felt terrible for her, and yet I couldn't stop laughing. So knowing that I was going to be a fish out of water in said yoga class, I was very very worried that I was going to bust a gut. I told Barb I would be unable to look at her throughout the class because it would contribute to the laughing.
My second fear involved bodily functions. It's quiet in there. There is lots of stretching and contorting and "relaxing every muscle." I live in fear of being "too relaxed" in the yoga studio. You know you know what I'm talking about.
I am happy to report my bodily functions fear was unfounded. I kept it all under control. Now the laughing. Well. I couldn't help it! Somehow Barb and I wound up facing eachother. In a pose that involved standing on one foot and touching the ground with your hand and the other one was up in the air and well...it was ridiculous. And it started off as a quivering lip that I bit really really hard. And then it turned into a giggle, which I tried to disguise as a cough. I don't think anybody bought the coughing. I calmed myself down with thoughts of how humiliated I would be to be kicked out of my very first yoga class for being a disruption. For the remainder of the evening I was very conscious of making sure Barb and I were never facing eachother.
Perhaps next week we'll have to stay on opposite ends of the room. Yes, there will be a next week. If for no other reason than for the last five minutes of the class you get to lay in the dark and breathe. And if I ignore the instructor talking about floating on a raft and I forget about the guy with the hairy armpits laying just a couple of feet away from me, that five minutes is worth 55 minutes of yoga torture.
So, bring on the bendy. A little downward dog never hurt anyone right?