Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Sunshine State
Florida is living up to its name since I arrived Tuesday afternoon. We did have a brief shower early this evening, but it brought with it a nice breeze, so I'm not complaining.
I'm trying to focus on the positive tonight.
The beautiful weather.
Cherished time with my mom, and precious moments with my grandmother.
A surge of creativity that's allowed me to create some fun layouts with just a handful of supplies I brought with me.
Shopping for goodies which served as some much needed "Retail Therapy" this afternoon.
Notes from friends that bring both smiles and tears.
The truth is, a part of my heart is very much broken tonight. I got my hopes up for a miracle this month, but it wasn't meant to be.
If there's one thing I'm learning on this infertility journey, it's that this doesn't get easier. You would think after months and months, I'd be used to the disappointment and realistic about my hopes. But it's a funny thing how after a couple of days of crying, I'm optimistic once again. Each month I know that we have a shot. And each month it's even harder to say goodbye to that dream.
But tonight, I will go to bed thankful for what I have: a wonderful family, loving friends, and hope.